时间正替我说再见

时间，这洪水从来就不会冲走曾经发生过的，

我们的回忆。

几年后，如果恰巧碰到类似的情况时，

我们还是会记得当时发生过的快乐的，或悲伤的回忆。

但时间，却能很好地治疗心理的伤痛，

如果你在某些时候，

因为一些人的恶意或无意的话或行动，

伤害了你，

请别伤心，也别生气，

因为时间会让我们淡忘这些事的伤痛，

留下的只会是一段曾经发生过的回忆。

这些曾经让我们觉得伤心的事，

总会有一天，我们会笑着把他陈述给需要的人知道。

我们都在学习长大，

当我们觉得痛，觉得辛苦了，

就代表着我们离成功越来越近了。

五月了，

我只想说，对你我是忘不了，

还是... ...

我已经习惯性地想念你了？

五月真的好美，

轻轻飘下的毛毛雨，

轻轻的碰到的大地，

泥土静静的吸收这水分

这来自距离几万几千里的水分

终于滋润到被四月的太阳晒到干枯的大地。

我们离天空的距离

到底有多近，有多远？

但雨却依然能碰到大地，

我却不如雨，我和你的距离，

曾经那么近，却总是往着反方向逃离现实

总是失去后，才伤心哭泣，

我会不会就这样一辈子？

我想要看起来再开心一点，

没有伪装的

我知道，快要写下句号了，因为

我不是不想你了，是没办法想了，

也不是忘记了，因为没办法忘记

真正的忘记是不需要努力的，

然而我却那么傻，强逼自己忘记你，

现在我要放下了，这次是真的了。

再见。

再见了，那么美好的你。

失憶症

“忘了你的姓名　忘了你的聲音　回憶就一步一步遠離


忘了天很透明　忘了風很無情　也忘了當時擁抱的甜蜜


愛不再繼續　一個人離去　另一個人　學習忘記


失去了記憶　我的世界　能不能夠　風平浪靜


我　不能忘記　深愛過的你　太過洶湧的回憶就像風雨來襲


每次想你　都慢慢沉溺　失憶症是一種無法治癒的清醒

暴風雨　轉眼間就要來臨　當所有關於你的舊情節還在翻雲覆雨


走下去　天空瞬間就放晴　經歷遺忘的風雨再看不見親吻的痕跡


不再想你

我的勇氣　已不言而喻　我學會了將自己從往事中抽離


不再想你　就這麼決定　失憶症是一種難得一見的幸運

忘記了你的姓名　忘記了你的聲音　忘記了我的愛情”

蔡健雅 的失憶症， 完全唱出我的感觉。我的感受。
要忘记，但却强逼自己记得；
要记得，却忘记了。

The journey...

Feel so hollow, suddenly...
but I have to tell myself stay strong..
成长大概就是这种滋味吧。
My determination is telling me must hold on no matter what.
Hold on and stay strong.
Keep on going, aim to my target and shoot!

Every time, when I'm drawing I will start wondering how it would be...
would it be nice or ugly...
worrying is always more than expecting...
not expecting how good myself would be but better not ruin everything..
but now.. I want what I wanted and get what I want...
I don't like regret, I hate that...
don't want the future me feel disappointed on what I'm doing now...
Keep on going... keep on going girl!

Unstable

There is only one word can describe my feeling now...
>> UnSTABLE <<

Ever since I graduated from The One Academy I was so free until now...
Actually, this is what I hope when I was still studying my course, Advertising & Graphic Design.
That's a quite a tough course. I had been stressed and it was a terrible nightmare for me to study there
but there still  have a lot of happy and unforgettable moment during these 3 years.
I was spend my time there from 18-20 year old.. I know that's a lot of things happened on me
in this 3 years which helped me to grow up faster.

I quite enjoy this kind of busy & stressful life like I have to worried about what I have not yet to do
or did I miss out anything? or forget anything? everyday..
bcoz it is kinda like forcing me to grow up, forcing me to be responsible.. etc
But I don't know ever since when, I start to fight with myself. I don't follow what I wanted to do
just keep on slacking everyday when I'm having my last semester.
It's a cold war. I was afraid it would never end...
Until now ... slacking everyday not even done writing or preparing any CV, portfolio...
I was wondering what am I thinking now?
I don't know what I want or feeling lost?
Am I lost?
Seriously, this is not what I will do in the past...
Why making me feel the older I grew the terrible attitute I had?

I found that there's not really much of grateful moment I share with my readers here recently...
I have no readers too...
but who cares...
may be I should share something memorable here like my 21st birthday?
hmm....
feeling lonely now...

曾经的拥有是不曾拥有

曾经听说，
人越是成长，
伴随着我们的梦想就会因成长时遇到的挫折慢慢地给歼灭。


曾经听说，
最有创意思想的年代，是高中那时期。
我想着想着，也对。
从前，我写作文都不用构思，就直接写了，成绩也还算不错。


曾经看过，
《面包树出走了》里面写到...
有一天，当我年老，有人问我，人生的哪一段时光最快乐，
也许，我会毫不犹豫的说，是十多岁的时候。
那个时候，爱情还没来到，日子是无忧无虑的；
最痛苦的，也不过是测验和考试。
当时觉得很大压力，后来回望，不过是那么微小。


曾经觉得，
那些伤害过我的，让我伤心的，
我要也让他们承受这种滋味，
后来想想，没了他们，也没有今天独立，会为别人着想的我。


曾经想要，
回到那无忧无虑的时期，做回那个自己，但
那时却没想到，其实我一直都没变，变的是
周围的环境罢了。


曾经我放弃过自己，
自杀是需要很多勇气，或者不去想自杀后所带来的痛苦就直接去做。
多亏我的想太多，才没作出那么傻的行为。
因为这会让我失去更多。


我知道，
我们都在时光里跌跌撞撞的成长，然后一点点离开最初的模样


但我却，


不想长大，
我还要顽固地留在这时代，顽固地不想长大地长大。


但，


我只能向前走，
因为时间是洪水，是大浪。
它不会给我回头的机会。


金钱交易是一个永远不会结束的游戏，
我们用时间赚金钱，但却用金钱买不到


一秒钟的时间。

2014年
明洁。

what can I do? What I can do? What I can do to make myself better?

I have forgotten this corner since my final semester begin and now it was ended.
After finish my course I'm feeling so lazy to do everything even read or playing puzzle.
Being nothing to do and don't want to do everything is really bad and terrible so I decided to work my part time again as an art teacher better than doing nothing at home..
I have no idea why I write this post because I feel like there is nobody will see this and may be they don't even know about this blog's exist. I have been very long didn't do my writing and also just read a few articles only. hmm... so yea... it's January~ my favourite month but I think a few years later it was longer my favourite anymore because I'm getting older. I'm not afraid of getting older I just worried about I have not much time left to do what I wanted to do... I'm a lazy person and love to waste my time. Sometimes it just feeling so right to do the wrong thing but I never regret on the wrong things I did  before. I really miss the old time that I was still in high school... That time I still remember I keep telling myself do whatever I want to do now don't let the future me feel regret but even though I really try hard to spend the good time in high school the future me (now) ain't feel any satisfied I still feeling not enough and always want to go back. I understand everyone need to look forward but sometimes I just hope can go back to do what I've did wrong and make it right. The 21st me is the brand new me.. the feeling of to start a new journey come out from my mind, I'm so scare but yet expecting what will happen to me in the future. I just hope no matter what happen my friends and family will never leave me and always love me. 21st Jie.